He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
