come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You're like the curious george of whores
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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