My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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