We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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