I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
