Where did you get a picture of my penis
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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