I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
