I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
