he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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