all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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