Don't you send me to vm
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
