Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
