Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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