I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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