So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
