The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
