So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
