I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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