he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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