btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
