Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
