It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
