spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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