I want to make a zoo with you.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
