But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
