3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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