About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
