hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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