i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just forgot I was standing up.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
