If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
