chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
