:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
