Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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