does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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