Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
