I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
