The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
