apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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