ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
