funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
