Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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