ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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