so explain again why im purple
no
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
