so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
