do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
