Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
