I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
