We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
