This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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