I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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