I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
