No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize