You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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