what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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