covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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