I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You're a waste of cheezeits
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
