S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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