Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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