im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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