Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
